Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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