The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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