one word: firstdatebathroomanal
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
