I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I intend to get homeless drunk
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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