your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
