She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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