You're completely useless in the revolution.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
