I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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