erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
