Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize