Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
