All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
