Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
