i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
