there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
