I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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