ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
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