So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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