I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
