I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
