we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
