omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
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I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
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the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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