I didn't shave. On purpose
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Ladies don't puke and tell
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
