he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
