how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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