she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Randomize
