i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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