New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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