I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
