I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
