with your own penis?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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