oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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