wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
