8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize