i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
