Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
