weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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