My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
