one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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