ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
