hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
