another moral hangover. fuck.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
