i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
