No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
