You really coming over, don't trick.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm sobbing to NWA
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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