Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
