Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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