Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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