I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
