I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Drunk is not a location!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
