when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
