we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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