Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
