I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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