i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
