Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
