It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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