i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize