I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Randomize
