I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
