Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
